Gympocalypse Begins: Your Gym Resolutionist Survival Guide

Brace yourselves.  Today begins #Gympocalypse 2018.  It’s that dreaded time of year all the gym regulars despise.  Like zombies, resolutionists descend upon our precious gym chanting “new year, new me”.  While there is no foolproof way to deal with the chaos of January, there are a few coping mechanisms for your own mental health.

Try to be polite.

Everybody starts from somewhere.  Today’s newbie could be tomorrow’s success story.  Granted, that number is a small margin, it’s best to try using your manners during this trying time.  Think about how you felt that first time you went to the gym.  It’s an intimidating place, and even getting there is a huge step in the right direction.  Give that guy some credit.  Hell, maybe even give him a few pointers if he looks that lost.

Don’t be afraid to get a little pushy.

As people mill about with their mouths agape, it’s time for you show ’em who’s boss.  Don’t be afraid to claim your equipment with a towel or take out your headphones to interact with another human.  Use a little creativity with the large volume of people.  Asking to switch off between sets is still more bearable than having to revamp your entire day’s workout.  

Have a rant session with your other gym friends.

One January, my brother and I used to hit up a popular Chicago gym together.  We’d split off to do our respective workouts.  Once we got back to our car, all bets were off.  We had a good old-fashioned rant session about any and every annoyance we had with all the resolutionists that day.  You know what?  It felt great.  And it was a fun bonding experience.  We’re all in this together.  Tweet it, text it, talk about it.  It’s therapeutic, and sometimes it’s a good laugh.

Remember: it’s only temporary.

As bad as it is today, remember this isn’t going to last forever.  Day by day, the crowds will get thinner.  And by February, the gym will be all our’s again.  Stay strong and trust the process.

Got any good stories about gympocalypse?  Comment below!

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